Do Dogs Feel Used?

Do you know a woman who is in a relationship with a guy that does not deserve her?

As a high school teacher, I see a lot of tragic relationships - nice girls getting into abusive relationships. And while the relationship may not last more than a few weeks or months, I know that the cycle of abuse could last a lifetime as their self esteem and self worth get eroded with each successive selfish boyfriend.

I've seen many great girls with a lot of potential make life changing mistakes when they let a boy take advantage of them. Sometimes they fight their way past it and still realize a bright future (albeit on a delayed schedule and with a lot of heartache), but often they stall out under the weight of the emotional baggage and physical suffering.

I didn't really know what to do about it. As a science teacher, I am not considered an authority on relationships and teen dating. But as a guy who was once a teenage boy, I know a lot about what motivates boys, and I can see the mistakes girls make in their perception and behavior. Still, I'm just a nerdy science teacher, so who wants to listen to me? Also, talking with teenage girls about their dating life is a little creepy.

To solve this problem, I wrote a book. I published it myself about 10 years ago, and I keep a few copies in my classroom so that I can lend them out to anyone who is interested. I haven't done a very good job of trying to publicize it (I hate self-promotion), but I had a conversation with a couple of mothers of teenage girls the other day, and it made me realize I should probably try a little harder to share this. I believe it offers advice that girls really need.

Here is the introduction. If you like it, I hope you will check the book out on Amazon. (You can read the first two chapters there for free when you "Look inside the book.")

Do Dogs Feel Used?

          As humans, I’m sure that we would like to think that we are more intelligent than dogs, but when it comes to love and relationships, I have my doubts.  Think about it.  When dogs reach a certain age, they become obsessed with a desire to mate.  For the males, this means that they will mate with any female (or any object, for that matter) that will stop long enough to let them.  On the females’ part, some are picky and some are not.  Whatever the case, the male gets his pleasure and splits, and the female is left alone to give birth and raise the puppies. 

          The process is very similar for humans.  When we reach a certain age, new and exciting hormones kick in, causing us to think about the opposite sex in a way we never have before.  For girls, this means a desire for companionship and mutual caring.  For guys, this means a desire for sex.  Like their canine counterparts, pubescent males have one basic objective on their minds: sexual gratification.  The only difference between guys and dogs, really, is that guys prefer their partners less hairy.  The result is that guys and girls get together, guys get what they want, and the girls are left alone.

While such a system may work out great for dogs, it doesn’t tend to go so smoothly for humans.  While humans and dogs may be biologically similar, emotionally we are not.  Female dogs are fine with never building emotional bonds with sexual partners, and they rarely stay up at night crying because “he never called back.”  The human mind and heart is not wired that way.  For most of us, our greatest joys come from caring relationships with other people.  Likewise, our greatest sorrows come from feeling used or abandoned.  The result is that, unlike dogs, we do feel hurt when we are betrayed by those whom we thought we could trust.

The greatest mystery is this: after all of these years of evolution where we have progressed far ahead of the animal kingdom in almost every aspect of development, why do we still behave like dumb animals when it comes to sex and relationships?  I believe that half of the problem lies with men.  They, however, have no reason to change the animalistic sexual behavior of the human race, because it works out really well for them:  all pleasure and no responsibility.  I’m also going to go out on a limb and guess that the other half of the problem lies with women, which is who this book is for.   

So if you’re the type of girl who likes the excitement of every stray that crosses your path, close this book, find one on preventing STD’s, and keep dating dogs. But if you are a woman who is tired of being treated like a dog, I believe this book can help.

Thanks for reading! If you liked it, it is available on Kindle here (it is free for Kindle Unlimited). You can also check out my related blog, "A Girl's Guide to Guys," for more good advice that every teenage girl should hear.